“The Am-Dram”

I haven’t dated in a while, it’s pretty much been a month as I was giving the Second Chancer far too many chances, so I have had a little break.

I matched with The Am-Dram on Bumble, which meant I had to message first and steer the conversation from the outset – I say this because this is pretty much how it felt on the date.

We met in a pub not too far from where I live, a halfway location from him as well. As I walked there I thought to myself, this is local to one of my colleagues. I said this to The Am-Dram, he said it was a local for some friends too. Then said colleague walked in, took a table not far away, not realising he was opposite me, so I waved and then he later mouthed over ‘are you on a date’. Part of me wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then, the other part thought this will make leaving easier!

The Am-Dram was pleasant, he is a nice guy. Why is he called The Am-Dram? Because he kept going on about amateur dramatics, referring to it as ‘am-dram’, he was later going to some engagement drinks with some am-dram folk. I have no problem with hobbies, by all means I wish sometimes I had something better than my interests, but please don’t chew my ear off about them. Every thing he did is am-dram related because he is no longer playing rugby.

What The Am-Dram also mentioned, is that he was engaged about 18 months ago, which is honest and let’s face it not everyone would be so honest on a first date. I wonder if it was to someone from am-dram. He also mentioned his father passed away not long after his engagement ended, and what transpired is he really isn’t ready for dating or meeting someone. I was steering the conversation, he didn’t ask me that many questions about myself, something which happens when someone isn’t interested…

I think The Am-Dram assumed we had similar careers, yet he is making a break from his to become a teacher – in hindsight, he was patronising me a little bit for not making a similar career break, not getting out of my house-share (er it’s London, that’s quite normal), which doesn’t make you feel overly great. It was raining and I think both of us were unsure how to continue.

Meanwhile, my colleague mouthed over that Al Murray, The Pub Landlord, was in the pub. Useful and a change of focus! I like a celeb spot, and told The Am-Dram that I had spotted Iain Glen from Game of Thrones recently (he didn’t need to know this was whilst on a date). The Am-Dram said he watches Game of Thrones sometimes… how can you watch it sometimes?!

After a few more drinks, the rain had cleared, The Am-Dram needed to leave for his am-dram buddies. He confirmed he isn’t ready for dating, said I am a great girl. I think if he was ready for dating, the date would have been quite different.

He left, and I went over to my colleague and his wife, joined them for drinks and a pub quiz – the same pub quiz I went to with Choco Leibniz. This blog is wonderful for reminding me just how many dates I go on…

“Choco Leibniz”

Choco Leibniz actually started out as “Guitar-man“, when I started this blog, which is a bit lame (though I had a thought pop in my head ‘he could teach me the guitar if this goes well’). He soon became Choco Leibniz based on our messages about biscuits and our biscuit of choice (a great topic of conversation). FYI, mine is a Hobnob, all varieties. Choco Leibniz was on to a good start.

He suggested a pub quiz. I was a bit hesitant. Whilst this is a great date idea, is it right for a first date? Some overthinking occurred:

  • Committing to the quiz for a couple of hours, if not more, is quite a big ask for a first date. Recently, how long should a first date be is something I’ve thought about a lot.
  • What if I know too much and come across as a geek? Unlikely, I quickly realised.
  • What if I know nothing? Again unlikely, but what if I don’t know enough? Was I being tested?

I like pub quizzes so really none of this mattered. Choco had made a plan, which is a rare thing itself.

We met, we quizzed. Between us we were pretty average. We didn’t come last and that’s the main thing. My chosen specialised subject of the evening were the word/anagram based sections, Choco Leibniz’s was music (not biscuits), between us we were ok at TV/celebs and history but pretty useless on sport. We doodled on the back of a sheet, him mocking my rubbish maths where I had panicked and added an extra digit to my answer to how many centimetres wide is a tennis court.

We drank quite a lot… even when the pub closed after the quiz ended, we went on for a couple more drinks. Probably a little unnecessary, but maybe that proves we were having a nice time…

The bar was closing, it was time to call it a night. I ordered an Uber, and after a cheeky snog, off I went.

I wonder whether I will be making the quiz team again.