“Paddy McPasta”

Something you should know about me. If I’m going to spend my time on the proverbial shelf then I might as well have fun whilst I’m up there. This means I have entertained behaviour in the past that perhaps I shouldn’t have or pursued things I should have ditched. 

Paddy McPasta. Irish-Italian in case you can’t work out why we are calling him this. 

We had messaged a lot before the date, a constant flow of taking the mickey and finding out things we had in common. This is either a good thing (it’s fun, you know more, they have good conversation – he’s got Irish within him so past dating tells me this has potential to be fun) or a bad thing (you may run out of things to say when you meet because you know too much, or the worst thing, you meet and a lack of chemistry is zapped out of you quicker than you can say zap). 

I got to the date first. I prefer this sometimes because then they have to find me. However the bar was empty; Paddy McPasta walked past where I was sat in a dash as clearly he’d been rushing but then reversed and came over.

After the initial whinge about the journey here, the working day, we settled in to conversations about friends, weddings (because seems we both go to many) and holidays. Paddy McPasta gets me another Malbec (he makes it large) and himself an Aperol Spritz… we joke about his manliness. I learnt some Irish words and he gets more drinks and I become a little Irish. It’s like when I was in Dublin being an idiot all over again. 

We had some bar snacks, then Paddy McPasta somehow got onto being needy and hungover and says how he likes a neck rub and a tummy rub, just like a puppy dog. 

It was home time, he stands up, he’s not that tall. Oh dear Paddy puppy. 

We say our goodbyes – not really any flirting had gone on other than fun conversation – so just a hug and off I go.

He sent me a message to check if I had got home ok, asks if I’m in bed and asks me what pyjamas I am wearing and here is where I refer you to the beginning of this tale, I tell him and ask the same question back – I think this is a fair thing. Though by this point I’m a bit disappointed in him and I think the wine I’ve had knows where this is going: perhaps Paddy McPasta is a troublemaker. 

Paddy McPasta chooses this moment to send a pic of his pants. 

I wasn’t expecting this and said as such, I also said he didn’t seem very bothered on the date. I am still none the wiser other than thinking Paddy McPasta is like many others I have dated who are after nothing but mischief. It’s marginally disappointing and a bit strange after a seemingly normal and nice date.