Soon there will be articles and blogs, TV shows and quizzes summarising 2017. I’m a bit early, but I’m done with dating for the year. In fact, this blog here sums it up if you don’t want to hear my views.
This year, I thought I was being more open, dating those I wouldn’t normally give the time of day, “The Meerkat” springs to mind, because some friends say “you never know” – they’re the ones who are (smugly) loved up and forget or don’t know what it’s like in the world of Tinder or Bumble or other dating apps. Sorry guys.
I gave guys second chances (“Second Chancer“), I went on second dates with those I wasn’t all that sure about (“Ronald McDonald“). I also had some good dates and either never heard anything from them again (“Choco Leibniz“) , or got ‘ghosted’ after a couple of dates (“The Older One” and “Factoid” did this), or a little bit down the line they’d say I wasn’t for them (“The Kiwi“).
I thought I was playing the dating game, though it’s not a fun game, I can’t work out how to win or if anyone does win. It isn’t a game either, it’s life.
I can bang on about how you make a first impression within seconds of meeting, I know all of this and try my very best. Everyone is looking for that what seems to be elusive ‘connection’, that ‘spark’, that ‘when you know, you know’ feeling. I had to get the latter in, it pops up from those smug ones I mentioned earlier and scripts and in books. It exists somewhere as why else would people say it?
Does that feeling happen straight away? Does it happen within an hour? Does it happen on date 2 or 3 or 4 or 10?
I suspect there are no answers.
Last night’s date said it happened within the 45 minutes he gave me, ‘no connection’ were his words. That’s nothing really, and annoying as I didn’t know – he was a good one in my eyes. It makes me think of Whitney, ‘How will I know?’ How will I?! I felt like it was payback for all the times I’ve dismissed someone pretty swiftly. Thank you Mr-super-tall-nice-friendly-handsome-guy, that I had to stand on tiptoes to kiss on the cheek, you really did well here.
One thing that is evident, that dating isn’t like dating anymore. I’m not being courted. There is no real effort by guys or girls, being put into dating right now.
Apps take the dating out of dating, it’s all swift and like having a series of quick meetings or interviews (“The one who said it wasn’t a date“), where the brief isn’t all that clear, you fail to win the pitch, basically you fail to win the job of being dated, thus losing out on later being promoted to girlfriend. If it is because I don’t have enough hobbies or the right hobbies (“The Am-Dram“, “The Netballer“), if it’s because like beer a bit too much, am too honest or sarcastic or not making you feel super special from the get-go (you’re not making me feel special either so this is probably why), then I’m happy I didn’t win this year.
I am who I am.
However, when you have that many knock backs, even the most confident or together person needs a break.
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