“The Dickhead”

I haven’t been on any dates this month, been a bit busy, and let’s face it dating often brings many knock-backs until you meet a good one.

This isn’t a new date.

The Dickhead is someone I dated last year, for quite some time. He wasn’t always called The Dickhead, he was once Baldy – see here. I recall him asking me about cheese, I think I had something about cheese on my Tinder profile and I didn’t reply for a while (which isn’t like me). Whilst messaging, we realised we didn’t work too far from one another, such is the way with Tinder’s location reach, and I could have had it set to a really low km… anyway, first date, we picked a pub that neither of us drink in ordinarily (avoid those pesky work colleagues like in the case of The Am-Dram) and bonded over pale ale. And had shots of tequila. It was a good first date, we messaged, we met again, we met again, etc. You get the drift.

We had good dates, we went to the Royal Albert Hall to Hacienda, I met his friends, we did a few fun things.

He pulled the ‘I don’t want anything serious line’, which wasn’t fair given the dates.

But foolishly, like many, many girls, I had put in some serious ground work, so I actually thought I could do this friend thing because he wasn’t all that (ok I did like him, I’m trying to give myself some credit when really I failed). And that is what we did. We went to the Imperial War Museum one evening (I realise that may sound dreary but I like it there) and met up sometimes. He works near me. Then one evening, watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens (yes, I like this) in the moat of the Tower of London (my second favourite spot in London), he says, ‘we can’t be friends because I have met someone and I am trying to do the fair thing and not be friends with you because I still want to have sex with you.’

Cue rage.

So that was that. I’ll refer you to ‘he works near me’. I thought he was being made redundant (he said he was but likely they’ll keep him, what sort of redundancy is that?), or that he would leave (as he often said he wanted to but also said he probably would end up staying) but being the total dickhead that The Dickhead is, he still works near me and I often see him from afar in the Dangerzone (this being the street that pretty much joins our workplaces, said street has many food stalls at lunchtimes and therefore why should I avoid this).

Today was one of those days. And not from afar, it was a total shambles of a moment, I stepped away from the cash machine and then bam, was right behind him.

Moral of the story is, he is a dickhead. And don’t date anyone who works near you (as this happened since too, The Big Man also worked near me and that makes one of the local pubs a Dangerzone too).

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