“The Netballer”

I had the day off work today and whilst enjoying my time with a trip to the swimming pool, doing a few errands and watching Once Upon A Time, I dabbled with Tinder. I matched with The Netballer. His profile, because I actually read it, said a few things but ended with ‘the only day we we won’t have a date is Thursday, I’m playing netball’.

Turns out The Netballer was off work too, on a staycation he said. He seemed alright, he suggested lunch, and he suggested coming to where I live so that all made it pretty easy. And I am often spontaneous and can’t stand a penpal type of situation when it comes to dating apps.

We met at the tube station, which yes I know I whinged about with Cheese-Bored but this was daytime, at a less busy time, and when I got there, Iain Glen, who to my mind is best known for Game of Thrones was also there and I was giddy. I was trying to take his photo on the sly when The Netballer appeared and ruined it.

He ruined it with his bad jeans, bad leather jacket, bad trainers. I wish I wasn’t so mean but studies have shown you only have 7 seconds to make a strong first impression, and in that 7 seconds The Netballer ruined my celeb-spotting time and topped it off with his bad dress sense.

We went for a cuppa, we chatted but he seemed very awkward, and whilst eating his sandwich was making odd sort of gulpy type moves like my dad does when he has eaten too quickly. He got food stuck in his beard. He didn’t ask me about my job, where I am from, or anything about me. He only asked me about my swim and pretty much talked about himself and his stressful job as an economist and netball.

He actually plays netball.

I didn’t fancy him.

I asked him what he was doing with the rest of the day in a bid to get out of this date, he had netball to go to of course and he then asked me – to which I said I had shopping to do, things to get back to the house for (all lies, I only had Once Upon a Time to get back to and the sofa and tea). He offered to carry my fake shopping for me three times. The lad was keen. Perhaps my giddy excitement at seeing Iain Glen was a good first impression.

I think he even wanted to kiss me when we said goodbye. He messaged me after as well ‘let me know if you get bored’.

I will not be seeing The Netballer again.


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