Before I met him he was getting names like “SkiSkiSki” as he had 3 ski trips lined up and I was marginally jealous. This is pretty much all I knew about him, this and where he lives. However, Titchski, and my housemates were right (they sussed this from his photos), was a shorter than your average male, he seemed even shorter than The Big Man.

I wanted to leave immediately. I know, give the guy a chance is what you might think but how long would I have to sit there? How long is acceptable? I was hoping an hour, two maximum. The ideal time for a first date.

Anyway there wasn’t even a glimmer of hope, particularly as the first thing Titchski said was “oh, have you come straight from work?” – which infuriated me who wouldn’t go on a date in London straight from work? I was thinking to myself what does Titchski do that meant he could go home, maybe exercise, freshen up before going on a date? Something to do with investments.


We went back to talking about what we had in common, skiing. He slated my recent ski trip which let me tell you is something you just do not do in my presence. Ever.

We talked about how many weddings we were going to this year, and their locations, this topic is becoming a bit of a regularity on my dates; this happened with Inferno. It was too competitive and too dull as a conversation. I was bored.

Titchski got up to get more drinks which confirmed he really was a titch. Cue the phone check in with pals, “he’s short”.

It annoyed me as in my profile I’ve noted  my height and where I live, I knew he’d read it as we had talked about the latter briefly. Perhaps he was after a Jamie Cullum/Sophie Dahl thing, or Rob Stewart/Penny Lancaster, or my godmother and her husband (though of course he wouldn’t know about them). I wish he had said so beforehand as sorry Titchski, this not for me.

We had one more drink before we decided to call it a night, it wasn’t a tricky one to get out of as I think it was pretty obvious to both of us after around an hour and a quarter, that this was not going to end up in a ski wedding.

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